Sermon 8-25-24

Pastor Ray Lorthioir

Trinity Lutheran Church

W. Hempstead, NY

Based on the Second Lesson for the 14th Sunday after Pentecost, Ephesians 5:22-32

Goin’ To The Chapel

OK. Ready for a rough one? We’re up to that part of Ephesians that contemporary feminists hate. In the early chapters of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul is quite steadfast insisting that we’re saved by grace through faith. And Lutherans make it grace alone and faith alone. There is no behavior, no matter how virtuous, that any human born with a sinful nature can perform that can add anything to the saving work of Jesus Christ.

For Jesus alone, of all the humans that will ever be born on this planet, was born without a sinful nature. That’s what the Christmas celebration of Jesus’ unusual conception and birth is all about. And because Jesus is true God and true man, only He could successfully atone for all of human sin by suffering for about 18 hours and dying on a cross. That’s what the Passion of our Lord is all about. And because only Jesus, the true God/true man, was obedient to God, even to a scandalous death on a cross, only He could be rewarded with resurrection from the dead in an immortal human body. And because Jesus was obedient unto death, only He could earn forgiveness of all our sins for the rest of us through the sacrifice of His body and blood. Only the perfect work of Jesus can declare any sinner righteous before the Judgment seat of God. So, again, there is no action, no matter how virtuous, that can add anything to the saving work of Messiah Jesus. As it says in Ephesians 2:8-9, “8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

But then, immediately afterward the text says in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” This means two things. First, anyone who truly has saving faith in Messiah Jesus cannot persist in a sin that leads to eternal death. Second, any virtuous living, any virtuous deeds and any virtuous behavior a Christian engages in does not come from the Christian him or herself. Such virtue comes from the very source of all virtue — the living God.

In the later part of Ephesians Paul talks about all the virtue that proceeds from Lord Holy Spirit and is effected in the Church. As we’ve seen, Paul especially talks about the marvel of the Church. For the Church was something that had never been seen before. It brought together two religious groups that prior to Christianity had been hostile to each other Jews and Gentiles. In order to be part of Messiah’s Church both had been converted. Jews had been converted by acknowledging that Messiah had brought to them a righteousness before Yahweh that the Law could not give them. Gentiles were converted through the news that this life is not futile. There is a Creator God. He has won resurrection from the dead and eternal righteous life for all who put their trust in His Messiah.

So, in the Church, both Jew and Gentile become the workmanship of God. In the body of  Messiah, the Church, they are a new creation. So, what does Yahweh’s workmanship look like? What does the virtue Yahweh has prepared for His people look like in action? That’s what the later chapters of Ephesians cover. So Paul exhorts us in Ephesians 4:31-32, “31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” The Greek word translated clamor means crying out, screaming, shouting. Slander, of course, is speaking evil of someone. The Greek word translated “slander” is the root word for the English word, “blasphemy.” Malice, of course, is evil intention. All this is normal human behavior in the world.

It’s to be replaced by kindness. Another way to translate the Greek word here would be to exhibit goodness to one another. The word translated “tenderhearted” is the whole idea of being compassionate and sympathetic. All this proceeds out of the forgiveness we have received from Yahweh Himself. After all the injury we have given Yahweh, His forgiveness for any one of us is massive. His kindness and tenderheartedness toward us is phenomenal. Therefore, if we fail to show similar traits to each other, it means that we don’t think Yahweh has had to forgive us of very much. As Jesus said to the Pharisees with whom He was dining in the wake of being anointed by a sinful woman (Luke 7:47) “. . . ‘But he who is forgiven little, loves little.’” Those who know for a surety that they have been loved much because they have been forgiven much are then able to forgive those around them. Since the Church is composed of those who have been forgiven much, this is to be the virtuous way of the Church.

And as we saw in last week’s lesson from Ephesians 5:18-21, “18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

The word translated “submitting” is a Greek military term. It means to put yourself under higher authority. The Greek word translated “reverence” can mean extreme fear. It’s the root of our English word, “phobia.”

Because of the tenderhearted work Jesus has done for us, He is to be feared like no other. Who else would sacrifice themself for the undeserving? So, if we bow the knee to our Lord and Master in submission, then it becomes easy to extend that kind of respect to our fellow citizens in the Kingdom of God. Even though Jesus is all powerful, He is not arrogant. He is full of righteous justice, and could be arrogant. But He is merciful and tenderhearted toward sinners. Therefore, Paul exhorts us in Ephesians 5:1-2, “1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” This is truly otherworldly stuff.

But now, we come to this morning’s text from Ephesians. As Paul will say at the end, it applies to Christ and His Church. However, the illustration Paul uses — marriage — also speaks volumes.

Here’s the first part. Ephesians 5:22-24, “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Now before all the feminist ballyhoo and anti-Paul sentiment begins, I’m going to show you that what the Lord has commanded through the Apostle is no different than what He has already planted in the human heart.

But first, we’re going to push on to the part that often gets ignored. Ephesians 5:25-31, “25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’”

So let us note. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. Husbands are commanded to love their wives and give themselves up for their wives. Is this any different than what’s already in the human heart? Let’s check.

In the present culture of no fault divorce, a man gains no material advantage by being married to a woman. If the marriage collapses, at least half of everything he’s ever worked for belongs to her. And this very fact is keeping men from marrying. But the way the law works these days, even the men who simply want to live with a woman and protect themselves from loss are still in danger. This is causing some men to resist getting involved with women altogether.

Nevertheless, Yahweh has built something into a man that if he finds a woman who pleases him, he’s willing to take her on, provide for her and their children. This is heralded in song. I can think of three. But I’ll choose probably the best known to us from the original Liverpool working class Beatles. “It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog. It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log. But when I get home to you I find the things that you do Will make me feel alright.” What is this song saying, except that a man is willing to work like a dog so his wife can stay home and tend to their nest?

On the other hand, from the same decade, here’s an all-female American group, the Dixie Cups, singing, “Spring is here, the sky is blue, whoa Birds all sing as if they knew Today's the day we'll say ‘I do’ And we'll never be lonely anymore. Because we’re goin' to the chapel And we're gonna get married. Gee, I really love you And we're gonna get married. Goin' to the chapel of love.” We just heard a controversy when Vice President candidate, J.D. Vance, talked about lonely women dying alone with their cats. Indeed, what he’s talking about is one of the outcomes of feminism.

So looking at these now classic songs written in a time when marriage was still the thing to do, what do they say about marriage? Having battled the world all day, a man is looking for a safe haven where everything is as it should be. A woman is looking for a relationship that’s committed and sure, where she won’t be lonely anymore and there will be much love. Both partners are looking for a loyalty that will stand the proverbial test of time. This is what Yahweh has naturally built into us. Therefore, what’s the problem with what the Lord commanded us through the Apostle? The only problem is the anti-human, anti-Christian nonsense we’ve been fed for at least the last 60 years.

One more example: It’s about 1981 or 82, and I’m teaching confirmation class in a previous parish. The kids in front of me are 7th and 8th graders, 12 to 14 years old. We’ve reached the sixth commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.” Martin Luther’s explanation of the commandment reads, “We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and that husband and wife love and honor each other.” Since Luther brings marriage into the commandment, we were, therefore, studying Ephesians 5:22-32. 

In the class was a pretty, blond haired, blue eyed girl who we’ll call Tracy. Tracy’s mom had absorbed a good deal of feminist teaching and had passed it on to her daughter. Therefore, upon hearing verse 22, Tracy stood up in class, fire in her eyes, hands on her hips and demanded to know, “Does this mean that I have to do what he says?”

A Christ fearing woman knows what the Lord Jesus did to save her from sin, death and the power of the devil. He totally gave Himself for her in a love that cannot be matched. He absolutely has and continues to look out for her spiritual welfare unto righteous eternal life. If a Christian woman submits to the Lord Jesus, is she, then, not to do as He says? Therefore, it was something of a fair interpretation on Tracy’s part.

I can’t duplicate the exact words I said in response to Tracy. It’s too long ago. However, knowing the full impact of Ephesians 5:22-32, I replied something like this: “Tracy, would you be willing to follow a man who always looked out for you and was willing to do the best for you — who had your welfare in his heart?” Tracy’s immediate collapse was stunning. The hands went off the hips. A starry glow appeared in her eyes. She quietly said, “yes.” And sat down.

As you can tell, I’ve never forgotten the incident. I was shocked. My response had shattered the shell of the humanistic nonsense we had been fed and I had just looked deep into the God-given desire of a female. Therefore, Saint Paul was right on target. To be a man’s wife — at the deepest level of her being, a woman desires to submit to him.

Therefore, a husband is a complete idiot if he does nothing to encourage this desire in his wife. For, at the deepest level of his being, a man desires to be honored, respected and followed.

As an aside here, just as humanistic feminism is trying to suppress a potential wife’s natural desire, so it’s attempting to suppress a potential husband’s natural desire. Men are being told they’re evil for desiring to be honored, respected and followed.

In any event, let’s look at the husband’s side — loving one’s wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. By nature, men are not big into feelings. That’s how we can be led into war. We only need one feeling — courage. Other than that, we’ll fight first and feel about it later — sometimes much later. That’s why young soldiers won’t tell you too much about their battlefield experience. But old soldiers will, and sometimes with tears.

When it comes to giving ourselves up for our wives, for men it’s much like being led into war. There are a whole lot of things we’d rather be doing, but for the sake of our wives, we’ll do what needs to be done. Almost always, it’s do first and feel about it later.

So, ladies, if your husband shows up with flowers, he more than likely thought it was a good idea because he knew you’d like them. Don’t accuse him of not really putting any feeling into his action. First, you’ll short change yourself of the pleasure of receiving the flowers. Second, he did feel it — but he felt it like a man feels it. He thought it was a good idea. Third, if you accuse your husband of not feeling things like you think he should feel things, you might as well accuse him of not being a giraffe. He’s not a woman. Last, you’ll deprive him of the feeling he can have — the pleasure of seeing you enjoy the flowers. After all, that’s why he did it — so you could enjoy them.

One more thing. While our culture defines love as an emotion, Scripture makes it clear that Agape Love is better understood as commitment. If Yahweh were to rely only on His emotions, we’d all be in hell forever. Period. He is rightly enraged at our rebellion. However, since He is the author of Agape Love, He is totally committed to us. For no other reason than His undying commitment, Yahweh has had compassion and mercy on us. He sent His only begotten Son to be an atoning sacrifice — a sufficient payment — for the outrage we’ve caused Him. That’s commitment beyond all commitment.

OK. Let’s come down to some fine print. First, ladies, something needs to be understood. No man on earth can make you happy. If you don’t have happiness within yourself, no man is capable of giving it to you. The real reason you don’t have happiness is because you’re a sinner separated from your Creator. The reason your husband can’t give you happiness is because he’s also a sinner separated from his Creator.

Likewise, men, if you don’t have honor, respect, meaning, purpose and drive within yourself, no woman on earth is capable of giving it to you. Again, the reason you don’t have honor, respect, meaning, purpose and drive is because you’re a sinner separated from your Creator. And the reason your wife can’t give you honor, respect and submission is because she’s also a sinner separated from her Creator.

Ladies, the only real happiness available to you this side of eternity is to be reconciled to your Creator through Jesus Christ. Gentlemen, the only real honor and respect you can have this side of eternity is to be reconciled to your Creator through Jesus Christ.

Therefore, Paul concludes that Christian marriage is like mini Church. And, on the other side, the Church is like a mucho big marriage. In the best Christian marriage scenario, a wife reconciled in Jesus Christ to her Creator will follow her husband’s lead. And she’ll do this in submission to Christ, her Lord. And by the way, if a woman doesn’t want to follow a man’s lead, she should stay single. And that doesn’t mean living together. Single.

And in the best Christian marriage scenario, a husband reconciled in Jesus Christ will be committed to his wife and children. He’ll do this in emulation of His Master, Christ, the Lord, who did the same for him. And again, if a man doesn’t want that kind of commitment, he should remain single. And that doesn’t mean living together. Single.

Husbands, give yourselves up for your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands. This is what husbands and wives naturally want to do for each other because of the instinct our Creator has put in us. But sin and the sinful nature find all kinds of ways to derail what Yahweh has purposed for us. Each fails to do what they were designed to do. And so there is trouble.

But for those reconciled to our Creator through our Lord, Jesus Christ, there is a way out of the debacle. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It begins with Yahweh Himself. Reconciled with Him we can find forgiveness for past grievances with one another. Reconciled with Him, Lord Holy Spirit will bring Christian wives to the place of happily submitting and Christian husbands to purposely and vigorously giving themselves up. For this is what our Lord Jesus Christ Himself did for us. Through Him all believers are joined in one Church. As it says in Ephesians 3:4-6, “4 There is one body and one Spirit — just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call — 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Amen.

All Bible quotes are from the ESV.